Alright.. Now what am i gonna talk about today?
Well, lets see.. Oh yeah. I'll pick up from where i left off...
I know you told me not to write this... But i cant... I have to write this...
Erm... Well.. Today... While Jeanny was so called STALKING MY BLOG... She said... That she is...
_______ (Fill in the blanks with a suitable word) XD
Hee. I didnt tell anyone what you said okayy? Hahaha.
I finally got to chat with Jeanny after 1 week of being in Perlis. Usually we'd have chats and see each other through webcam... But then, its been 3 weeks since we last did... Why? Because there's just so many other things that needs to be done.
We'll be having an even coming soon. The introduction to REMAKE MY LULLABY. ^^
But i dont think most of you can see us perform. But we'll make a vid so you all can give your us remarks. GOOD OR BAD. We'll hear it. ^^
EARTH HOUR 60 MINUTES.
Wanna know how i think this event went?
IT WAS A TOTAL SCREW UP!
I guess Malaysia aint that supportive after all. I turned off all my lights in my hostel, but i didnt think it made much difference cuz the rest of the houses around the area were lighted up. Its like they dont even realize such an event was happening. Shows how they dont really care about whats going on with the world these days. But at least i know i played my part.
I TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS FOR MORE THAN 60 MINUTES!
Thats cuz i went out at 8.30pm and im still out so my house lights are still off. XD
BUT STILL! I SUPPORTED THE EVENT OKAYY? ^^
I realized that im living like a nomad in Perlis. I never seem to stay put at one place for a long time... I keep moving around here and there. Soon i'll be moving out from my hostel to live with my other friends at the house they rented. I saw the house yesterday, and it was AMAZING. I so wanna move in there. haha.
Ever since i got my license, oh wait. Even before i got my license. Haha. I always go out most of the time. ^^ i enjoy travelling and going places. Well, for now its just around the states. Sometimes id head over to Alor Star or Sungai Petani in Kedah since Perlis is certified DEAD. XD
Okay. Today, i didnt get to text that much cuz unfortunately Catalina had things to do. So i left my phone all by itself... But id check it once in awhile JUST INCASE she replies. Haha. ^^ She and i are besties now... I like how things are. Its so fun meeting new people. Especially the ones that seem to be at ur interest most of the time. Hee. ^^
Alright, thats all i wanna blog for now. I'll blog more tomorrow or whenever i feel like it. ^^
.iwannaseeyouagain.
HELLO KITTY! XD
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
I NEED SOME AIR!
Ever since i got back to perlis, ive been so full of things to do...
I dont even have time to breathe well! haha.
Well, not really, but i feel like i have something to do all the time,
Which is somthing good for me.
It takes my mind off things that trouble me. ^^
Okay, so lets see what ive been doing for the past 1 week being back in perlis.
-I paid my traffic summon.
-I paid for my guitar lessons.
-I paid for my L license. I FINALLY HAVE IT! XD
-I had my test this whole week.
-I went to alor star with my bestie.
-I Miss CAMP
Alright, now lets see. If you've read my earlier posts, then you'd know how i got the traffic summon. I have L and i brought my friend. So i was unlucky when JPJ did a roadblock right in front of the cc i was headed too. According to my friends, my license would be suspended for 3 months for breaking the rules, but thank god it didnt... I thought it was gonna be rm100 but they gave me the minimum of rm60. Haha. But this time... Im not gonna risk my license anymore. Hee.
Moving on.
Ive been having this guitar lessons for the past 2 months now. Ive been getting better at it. Especially at reading notes. I guess its a quite a worthy investment. But i just realized that... I can only take my exams NEXT YEAR. WTF? I WANNA DO ELECTRIC GUITAR! ==" Hmm.. Well... Nevermind... I'll just do this till i get 1st grade then i'll move on to electric... Cuz the guitar fees are only rm50 per month so i dont mind paying.
Next on the list.
I finally got to pay off rm700 for my license. WOOT! How did i get that much money? No. Not my parents. I had to use allowances and income from so many sources. Haha. And now i can ride the motorbike without a worry of roadblocks or police. Hee. I can ride the motorbike wherever i want. But by myself that is. Dont wanna repeat the same mistake twice. Hee.
Okay.
I was supposed to have my test before i had my 1 week holiday, but i managed to persuade my lecturers to let me postpone it to a date further cuz i went to THE MOST AMAZING CAMP EVER in johor. Thank god i could go. If not. I wouldnt have made new friends. Hee. ^^ And now... ive been taking those papers i didnt take plus the other papers that were supposed to take this week. ITS BEEN A HECTIC WEEK! Luckily i could do all those tests. Now there's only one more paper left to take which is Chemistry. I was supposed to take it yesterday but becuz it rained my lecturer said i could do it on monday evening. YAY! More time to study. Haha.
Know what?
The test i was supposed to take yesterday at 3pm, it was cancelled cuz it rained from 2pm. While it was raining, i used the opportunity to get it cancelled. Luckily i did it on time cuz exactly at 3pm, it stopped raining. PHEW. HAHA. What did i do after that? I FINALLY GOT A NICE EVENING NAP. I havent had the chance to do so since the past 3 months cuz ive been so so so so busy with so many things that i havent been getting enough rest. Nowadays, the latest time i would be sleeping is at 1am. And id wake up at 6.30 for subuh prayers then sleep back till 8.30 just in time for me to go to college. Okay, so my body clock timing seems to be set okay. Then after i got that nap, my friends asked me out. They wanted to go to Alor Star, In kedah. Its about 45minutes away from perlis if you speed at 100km/h. How far is it? You do the maths. hahaha. Well from a lot of people who wanted to go, it turned out that only 3 of us were serious about going. So we went. But ASIFF and i sent my friend, WAN to his relatives house in Alor Star.
SO it was just ASIFF and I in ALOR STAR. Were two buddies that would stick out for each other no matter what happens. Even when we dont go for classes. It would be us both. Haha. Friends forever. Dont get any stupid funny ideas about us having a SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP cuz we dont. OKAY? Why did i make this statement? You'll see why. In alor star, we went to chill at the arcade. Had a game of Daytonna and obviously. I WON. XD I would make it a point to have AT LEAST 1 game of daytonna racing when i get to any arcade. Its my favourite game. ^^ Then we went to get movie tickets.
We wanted to watch dragonball but it turns out that there was only one movie on. It was called, SAYANG, YOU CAN DANCE. It was one heck of a monotonous movie ive ever seen in my life. Asiff and i both took out or handphones and we were texting other people during the whole movie. AND THAT EXPLAINS THE EARLIER STATEMENT. lol. After that, we went for a drink at the mamak shop NASI KANDAR SALAM next to VOX the club i went clubbing at during new year. Then what a coincidence, we met 5 of our friends who live next door there. They went to karaoke. OH YEAH! WE went for karaoke too. HAHA. It was one funny moment in the karaoke box. XD I sang WOMANIZER and I DONT LOVE YOU while Asiff sang 2 malay songs. Haha. Crazy time there. We were screaming off pitch the whole time. That shows how bad of a singer we are. I wonder how i became the vocalist for REMAKE MY LULLABY? XD
Here's more.
You remember the camp i went to in Johor? I MISS IT LIKE CRAZY! It was one of the best camps ever. Yes its the camp i blogged about. ^^ I MISS IT LIKE CRAZY! did i say that already? oh yeah i did. Can i say it again? I MISS IT LIKE CRAZT! XD ^^ hee. right now i still keep in contact with a few of the participants. From what i heard... Im becoming the talk of the school (SMK SETA). Its a girls school. XD can i feel proud of myself?
PLEASE? PWEETTY PLEASE?
NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD
How can i not feel good about myself in this situation? People talking about me. I mean i hope there arent any bad remarks but whatever your comments are about me, you can say it to my face. Dont worry. I like knowing what im like in your opinion. Oh yeah. Now...
CATALINA MAE HUBBARD. (:
yeah, were sort of besties now. Wanna know how close we are? Ive been using my maxis number for 4years now... And after i got to know her... I reserved a digi number just so i can text her. Feeling special? Hee. Go ahead. YOU ARE SPECIAL. ^^ I text her every single day now. I'd wait for her to come back from school then we'd text. Dont worry people. Were just friends. For those of you who are my friends, you'd know what kind of friend i can be especially when i wanna make you feel special about yourself. ^^
OH YEAH! I ALMOST FORGOT!
You know... Ive been feeling so emo lately. Except when i texting. Haha. I get so happy. Cuz i have other things to think about. And when im feeling sad, I EAT ICE CREAM. ALOT OF ICE CREAM. Then i realized something.. Ive been consuming WAAAY TOO MUCH SUGAR! SO i decided, not to take ice cream for at least another 2 weeks. BUT when i wanna stop eating ice cream, SUDDENLY alot of chances for me to eat ice cream and so many temptations. ITS CRAZY!
AND. IM TRYING SO HARD TO RESTRICT MYSELF FROM SPORTS.
Since i got injured from the holiday, falling from a skateboard and injuring my knee and wrists quite badly. I can even do push ups anymore. But YESTERDAY. After coming back from ALor star with Asiff, we went to our friends house near our hostel then the friends and us went to hang out near the beach in Kuala Perlis. AND I WAS PLAYING SKATEBOARD. AGAIN! ==" TOO MUCH TEMPTATIONS. And i fell and twisted my right ankle while trying to ollie an obstacle. DAMN. haha. And we were shuffling there as well. It was quite a day. And you see how hard it is for me to NOT DO SPORTS FOR 3 MONTHS? ==" DAMN.
Today i woke up at 7 and quickly prayed then went back to sleep. AS soon as i woke up at 11, my guitar teacher told me i had classes at 11.45. So i showered and rushed straight to class after i went back to my hostel to get the guitar books. Then i sped to class. There were some college kids shooting a film in front of the music shop i was headed too. It seemed so fake. Especially their acting. Hahaha. And now after class, im at the cc. Blogging and was chatting with Vinesh and Jeanny. ^^ I havent had a chat with them for quite some time.
And i dont really go online that much anymore since im so busy. Plus i wanna study more. I think ive been playing way too much. I wanna improve in my grades for this semester.
But i can resist not texting Catalina for even a day. Haha. YOUR FAULT CAT. XD
I guess thats all im gonna post for now... My friends need me to help them with an english assignment back at their place. So i'll update you all with more stuff next time i go online alright?
TILL NEXT TIME. (:
Apologies for the total blankness and not as colourful as before. Ive been so busy. But next time i have the time, i'll make it as colourful as i can okayy? hee..
.imgettingbetternow.
HELLO KITTY! XD ^^
I dont even have time to breathe well! haha.
Well, not really, but i feel like i have something to do all the time,
Which is somthing good for me.
It takes my mind off things that trouble me. ^^
Okay, so lets see what ive been doing for the past 1 week being back in perlis.
-I paid my traffic summon.
-I paid for my guitar lessons.
-I paid for my L license. I FINALLY HAVE IT! XD
-I had my test this whole week.
-I went to alor star with my bestie.
-I Miss CAMP
Alright, now lets see. If you've read my earlier posts, then you'd know how i got the traffic summon. I have L and i brought my friend. So i was unlucky when JPJ did a roadblock right in front of the cc i was headed too. According to my friends, my license would be suspended for 3 months for breaking the rules, but thank god it didnt... I thought it was gonna be rm100 but they gave me the minimum of rm60. Haha. But this time... Im not gonna risk my license anymore. Hee.
Moving on.
Ive been having this guitar lessons for the past 2 months now. Ive been getting better at it. Especially at reading notes. I guess its a quite a worthy investment. But i just realized that... I can only take my exams NEXT YEAR. WTF? I WANNA DO ELECTRIC GUITAR! ==" Hmm.. Well... Nevermind... I'll just do this till i get 1st grade then i'll move on to electric... Cuz the guitar fees are only rm50 per month so i dont mind paying.
Next on the list.
I finally got to pay off rm700 for my license. WOOT! How did i get that much money? No. Not my parents. I had to use allowances and income from so many sources. Haha. And now i can ride the motorbike without a worry of roadblocks or police. Hee. I can ride the motorbike wherever i want. But by myself that is. Dont wanna repeat the same mistake twice. Hee.
Okay.
I was supposed to have my test before i had my 1 week holiday, but i managed to persuade my lecturers to let me postpone it to a date further cuz i went to THE MOST AMAZING CAMP EVER in johor. Thank god i could go. If not. I wouldnt have made new friends. Hee. ^^ And now... ive been taking those papers i didnt take plus the other papers that were supposed to take this week. ITS BEEN A HECTIC WEEK! Luckily i could do all those tests. Now there's only one more paper left to take which is Chemistry. I was supposed to take it yesterday but becuz it rained my lecturer said i could do it on monday evening. YAY! More time to study. Haha.
Know what?
The test i was supposed to take yesterday at 3pm, it was cancelled cuz it rained from 2pm. While it was raining, i used the opportunity to get it cancelled. Luckily i did it on time cuz exactly at 3pm, it stopped raining. PHEW. HAHA. What did i do after that? I FINALLY GOT A NICE EVENING NAP. I havent had the chance to do so since the past 3 months cuz ive been so so so so busy with so many things that i havent been getting enough rest. Nowadays, the latest time i would be sleeping is at 1am. And id wake up at 6.30 for subuh prayers then sleep back till 8.30 just in time for me to go to college. Okay, so my body clock timing seems to be set okay. Then after i got that nap, my friends asked me out. They wanted to go to Alor Star, In kedah. Its about 45minutes away from perlis if you speed at 100km/h. How far is it? You do the maths. hahaha. Well from a lot of people who wanted to go, it turned out that only 3 of us were serious about going. So we went. But ASIFF and i sent my friend, WAN to his relatives house in Alor Star.
SO it was just ASIFF and I in ALOR STAR. Were two buddies that would stick out for each other no matter what happens. Even when we dont go for classes. It would be us both. Haha. Friends forever. Dont get any stupid funny ideas about us having a SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP cuz we dont. OKAY? Why did i make this statement? You'll see why. In alor star, we went to chill at the arcade. Had a game of Daytonna and obviously. I WON. XD I would make it a point to have AT LEAST 1 game of daytonna racing when i get to any arcade. Its my favourite game. ^^ Then we went to get movie tickets.
We wanted to watch dragonball but it turns out that there was only one movie on. It was called, SAYANG, YOU CAN DANCE. It was one heck of a monotonous movie ive ever seen in my life. Asiff and i both took out or handphones and we were texting other people during the whole movie. AND THAT EXPLAINS THE EARLIER STATEMENT. lol. After that, we went for a drink at the mamak shop NASI KANDAR SALAM next to VOX the club i went clubbing at during new year. Then what a coincidence, we met 5 of our friends who live next door there. They went to karaoke. OH YEAH! WE went for karaoke too. HAHA. It was one funny moment in the karaoke box. XD I sang WOMANIZER and I DONT LOVE YOU while Asiff sang 2 malay songs. Haha. Crazy time there. We were screaming off pitch the whole time. That shows how bad of a singer we are. I wonder how i became the vocalist for REMAKE MY LULLABY? XD
Here's more.
You remember the camp i went to in Johor? I MISS IT LIKE CRAZY! It was one of the best camps ever. Yes its the camp i blogged about. ^^ I MISS IT LIKE CRAZY! did i say that already? oh yeah i did. Can i say it again? I MISS IT LIKE CRAZT! XD ^^ hee. right now i still keep in contact with a few of the participants. From what i heard... Im becoming the talk of the school (SMK SETA). Its a girls school. XD can i feel proud of myself?
PLEASE? PWEETTY PLEASE?
NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD
How can i not feel good about myself in this situation? People talking about me. I mean i hope there arent any bad remarks but whatever your comments are about me, you can say it to my face. Dont worry. I like knowing what im like in your opinion. Oh yeah. Now...
CATALINA MAE HUBBARD. (:
yeah, were sort of besties now. Wanna know how close we are? Ive been using my maxis number for 4years now... And after i got to know her... I reserved a digi number just so i can text her. Feeling special? Hee. Go ahead. YOU ARE SPECIAL. ^^ I text her every single day now. I'd wait for her to come back from school then we'd text. Dont worry people. Were just friends. For those of you who are my friends, you'd know what kind of friend i can be especially when i wanna make you feel special about yourself. ^^
OH YEAH! I ALMOST FORGOT!
You know... Ive been feeling so emo lately. Except when i texting. Haha. I get so happy. Cuz i have other things to think about. And when im feeling sad, I EAT ICE CREAM. ALOT OF ICE CREAM. Then i realized something.. Ive been consuming WAAAY TOO MUCH SUGAR! SO i decided, not to take ice cream for at least another 2 weeks. BUT when i wanna stop eating ice cream, SUDDENLY alot of chances for me to eat ice cream and so many temptations. ITS CRAZY!
AND. IM TRYING SO HARD TO RESTRICT MYSELF FROM SPORTS.
Since i got injured from the holiday, falling from a skateboard and injuring my knee and wrists quite badly. I can even do push ups anymore. But YESTERDAY. After coming back from ALor star with Asiff, we went to our friends house near our hostel then the friends and us went to hang out near the beach in Kuala Perlis. AND I WAS PLAYING SKATEBOARD. AGAIN! ==" TOO MUCH TEMPTATIONS. And i fell and twisted my right ankle while trying to ollie an obstacle. DAMN. haha. And we were shuffling there as well. It was quite a day. And you see how hard it is for me to NOT DO SPORTS FOR 3 MONTHS? ==" DAMN.
Today i woke up at 7 and quickly prayed then went back to sleep. AS soon as i woke up at 11, my guitar teacher told me i had classes at 11.45. So i showered and rushed straight to class after i went back to my hostel to get the guitar books. Then i sped to class. There were some college kids shooting a film in front of the music shop i was headed too. It seemed so fake. Especially their acting. Hahaha. And now after class, im at the cc. Blogging and was chatting with Vinesh and Jeanny. ^^ I havent had a chat with them for quite some time.
And i dont really go online that much anymore since im so busy. Plus i wanna study more. I think ive been playing way too much. I wanna improve in my grades for this semester.
But i can resist not texting Catalina for even a day. Haha. YOUR FAULT CAT. XD
I guess thats all im gonna post for now... My friends need me to help them with an english assignment back at their place. So i'll update you all with more stuff next time i go online alright?
TILL NEXT TIME. (:
Apologies for the total blankness and not as colourful as before. Ive been so busy. But next time i have the time, i'll make it as colourful as i can okayy? hee..
.imgettingbetternow.
HELLO KITTY! XD ^^
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I wanna smile again...
Todays post would be a little different from the rest...
Im not here to talk about my day or how it went...
Im gonna talk about how i feel...
Well... After the breakup, i thought i would feel better knowing that now im all to myself... Unfortunately, it turns out that ive been in depression. Its like my body automatically responded towards what happened... I havent been eating well... Everything else seems to be wrong... Ive been keeping myself really busy till i till i dont have time to think about other things...
Im glad she's moving on... It makes it easier for me to move on as well...
I dont really know what to say about what happened between us... I guess things just couldnt work out with me being too busy for anything... I just wanted some space to breathe.
Yeah now i can finally breathe. But i guess the air around me seemed to have run out.
So i still end up trying to breathe.
I never meant to hurt you neither did i have the intention to make you cry. But after all those happened, turns out that someone was there to pick you up... I wish you happiness all the way...
And for my side of the story... Im still moving on... And honestly, i wont be able to forget anything. Every single moment. It was great being around you. I hope we can still be friends.. Oh wait.. Or maybe not for the moment..
Im finally crushing on someone else... At least thats what i think... I dont wanna repeat the same mistakes. I guess i cant seem to handle relationships that well yet. And it does hurt each time things end. I might say things are okay... Or maybe look like im doing great whenever im around... The fact is.. I tear myself up inside each time i make a mistake... And why do i not look sad when im around? Tell me this... When you're tring to have some fun outside and someone pulls a long face and is filled with sadness, wouldnt that just take away the fun inside you as well? I dont like ruining the fun others want.. I like to keep my problems to myself...
At least till someone asks me..
And id listen to everything any of you want to say... Because i know what its like to have so many things inside to say and no one to hear you say it...
Right now...
I feel like a part of me inside was just taken out... And i feel like its getting harder to breathe... Im still alive but things feel so hard for me to handle... I need my friends... Dont ask me about my problems or ask me to forget them cuz i wont... I know everything happens for a reason... No matter how broken up inside i can be... I still know how and why things happen... Im so confused on what i want... I know what i want at times... But most of the time, im not sure if what i want, wants me as much as i want it.
Things only work if it goes both ways.
At the moment, im crushing on this girl. But i dont think it'll work out. Or maybe its still waaay too soon to figure out. Plus, i wouldnt set my hopes so high for a girl like her. She's amazing. Im not asking for sympathy here. Im just expressing how i feel at the moment.
I bet those of you who loved and lost someone before would understand what it feels like. The place you used to feel like there were butterflies inside just fades away, and instead you feel like your insides are being ripped out and you feel so empty and it hurts so bad that it makes you wanna cry... What would you do when that happens? Apart from letting yourself bleed, you'd wish someone would come and take all this away right? All the pain you feel, you wanna stop thinking so negative and you want someone to tell you that its gonna be alright every single day even when its not. You want someone to convince you that nothings gonna happen as long as you're around.
I wanna apologize to all the people i hurt before. And just so you all know. I hurt each time you feel like i dont care. Or when it seems that i was just playing around with your heart. well, look what happened now? Someone else came by and saved you from your pain. Im like a stop for you. I dont really deserve anyone. Cuz most of the time, id give them away to those who i feel are more worthy to be with. Things would only go far if you could handle the pressure. But most of the time they dont. At least till now.
I think i need friends. Friends that are willing to be there for me whenever i need them. But wait. Sometimes i dont deserve friends either.
Wait. Lets see. I think im selfish. I only think about myself. THats why im complaining alot here.
Im gonna get over whatever im going through.
AT the moment. I like this girl. Alot. But i dont wanna ruin things. I like it the way it is. I guess i'll just keep it that way till someone comes by and takes her away. I mean its not like i own her. And i dont think she knows this. Hopefully she doesnt. Cuz i think i would scare her off.
Right now, i just hope i'll be able to smile SINCERELY.
I feel so empty.
I feel like i dont deserve anything.
And for those who need someone to talk to...
You can come looking for me.
I might be able to help you...
Im not here to talk about my day or how it went...
Im gonna talk about how i feel...
Well... After the breakup, i thought i would feel better knowing that now im all to myself... Unfortunately, it turns out that ive been in depression. Its like my body automatically responded towards what happened... I havent been eating well... Everything else seems to be wrong... Ive been keeping myself really busy till i till i dont have time to think about other things...
Im glad she's moving on... It makes it easier for me to move on as well...
I dont really know what to say about what happened between us... I guess things just couldnt work out with me being too busy for anything... I just wanted some space to breathe.
Yeah now i can finally breathe. But i guess the air around me seemed to have run out.
So i still end up trying to breathe.
I never meant to hurt you neither did i have the intention to make you cry. But after all those happened, turns out that someone was there to pick you up... I wish you happiness all the way...
And for my side of the story... Im still moving on... And honestly, i wont be able to forget anything. Every single moment. It was great being around you. I hope we can still be friends.. Oh wait.. Or maybe not for the moment..
Im finally crushing on someone else... At least thats what i think... I dont wanna repeat the same mistakes. I guess i cant seem to handle relationships that well yet. And it does hurt each time things end. I might say things are okay... Or maybe look like im doing great whenever im around... The fact is.. I tear myself up inside each time i make a mistake... And why do i not look sad when im around? Tell me this... When you're tring to have some fun outside and someone pulls a long face and is filled with sadness, wouldnt that just take away the fun inside you as well? I dont like ruining the fun others want.. I like to keep my problems to myself...
At least till someone asks me..
And id listen to everything any of you want to say... Because i know what its like to have so many things inside to say and no one to hear you say it...
Right now...
I feel like a part of me inside was just taken out... And i feel like its getting harder to breathe... Im still alive but things feel so hard for me to handle... I need my friends... Dont ask me about my problems or ask me to forget them cuz i wont... I know everything happens for a reason... No matter how broken up inside i can be... I still know how and why things happen... Im so confused on what i want... I know what i want at times... But most of the time, im not sure if what i want, wants me as much as i want it.
Things only work if it goes both ways.
At the moment, im crushing on this girl. But i dont think it'll work out. Or maybe its still waaay too soon to figure out. Plus, i wouldnt set my hopes so high for a girl like her. She's amazing. Im not asking for sympathy here. Im just expressing how i feel at the moment.
I bet those of you who loved and lost someone before would understand what it feels like. The place you used to feel like there were butterflies inside just fades away, and instead you feel like your insides are being ripped out and you feel so empty and it hurts so bad that it makes you wanna cry... What would you do when that happens? Apart from letting yourself bleed, you'd wish someone would come and take all this away right? All the pain you feel, you wanna stop thinking so negative and you want someone to tell you that its gonna be alright every single day even when its not. You want someone to convince you that nothings gonna happen as long as you're around.
I wanna apologize to all the people i hurt before. And just so you all know. I hurt each time you feel like i dont care. Or when it seems that i was just playing around with your heart. well, look what happened now? Someone else came by and saved you from your pain. Im like a stop for you. I dont really deserve anyone. Cuz most of the time, id give them away to those who i feel are more worthy to be with. Things would only go far if you could handle the pressure. But most of the time they dont. At least till now.
I think i need friends. Friends that are willing to be there for me whenever i need them. But wait. Sometimes i dont deserve friends either.
Wait. Lets see. I think im selfish. I only think about myself. THats why im complaining alot here.
Im gonna get over whatever im going through.
AT the moment. I like this girl. Alot. But i dont wanna ruin things. I like it the way it is. I guess i'll just keep it that way till someone comes by and takes her away. I mean its not like i own her. And i dont think she knows this. Hopefully she doesnt. Cuz i think i would scare her off.
Right now, i just hope i'll be able to smile SINCERELY.
I feel so empty.
I feel like i dont deserve anything.
And for those who need someone to talk to...
You can come looking for me.
I might be able to help you...
Monday, March 23, 2009
IM SORRY
For those speculating on the recent issue.
Heroes? They're my friends.
Were just friends.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
It wont happen anymore.
Heroes? They're my friends.
Were just friends.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
It wont happen anymore.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Its been quite awhile.
Okay everyone, its been almost a week since i last blogged. This is because i have been so so so so so... so busy that i havent had the time to do so.
Anyways, alot of you (readers of my blog) must be wondering whats happening now right? Well, lets see... I'll make a list of points on what to say...
*I went to Johor for a leadership camp. I was with the organizers.
*We broke up.
*I made new friends at the camp.
*Im back in Kl and soon back to perlis.
*Jamming with REMAKE MY LULLABY. ^^
*I went to Johor for a leadership camp. I was with the organizers.
Okay, according to my last post, i told you that im at this camp in Johor with 100 teenagegirls participants right? Well, that was what its supposed to be. But unfortunately only 79 turned up. BUt nevermind.
I havent been to these kind of camps since 2006 i think. My society, PACIFIC YOUTH OUTREACH was made to help make youth better than what they are currently. It was started out by my Aunty Noor Hayatti bt Ismail and her good cause to make a change for the youth. Im part of the team. Anyways, i'll just go ahead with how the camp went.
Since ive never been into the forest for a very long time, i didnt really know what to expect. But here's what you can expect about the forest.
THE TOILET SUCKS!
Yeah. I mean come on. ITS A FOREST. XD
Apart from that, i think ive become a hell load more NAGGY. Thank you Catalina for the feedback.
During the camp, i was FORCED TO DO SO. I dont really like nagging to others as much as i dont like getting nagged at myself. So dont worry people. I'll try not to nag at you. Hee.
In the forest, i got leech bites. I dont really know how much but i do know its more than one. Haha. Im too lazy to check my legs and see how many of those bloodsuckers got a taste of my blood. XD
Moving on, i love the lakes over there. Especially the one that had a platform for me to dive in.
WOOOT! Hehe.
It was about 1 storey high jump into the lake and i went CRAZEE! haha. Well... I did get scolded for being unprofesional cuz as the FACI i was supposed to overlook the participants. BUT IT DIDNT MATTER. Cuz if i didnt jump on that day, the next day where we were supposed to get a jump into the lake, it didnt happen cuz there wasnt enough time to do so.
But the thing about the camp was... i got a hell load of cuts on my foot. ++"
Well, thats what you get for going out to a total survival camp. ^^
And from the whole camp, i met so many different people, and there was one that i kept in touch with even till today. (I speak like its been SOOO LONG. Haha) well, her name is...
Catalina Mae Hubbard.
One heck of an interesting person to talk to. ^^
Now moving on to the next thing that i was going to talk about.
*We broke up.
Yes people. Im single now.
The reason?
Well, sometimes i think things were just not meant to be.
But i think its for the best. At least now i know someone better will take care of her.
Dont worry farhah. I wont make things hard for you anymore. (:
*I made new friends at the camp.
How can you not make friends at a camp. Especially when they're all girls?
Oh I KNOW! Wait... I dont. Haha. what am i saying?
^^
Ive talked about this. haha.
Next.
*Im back in Kl and soon back to perlis.
I came back to KL from Johor last tuesday. Then i chilled with my bro and sis at sogo.
KARAOKE! Haha. Actually more like SCREAM YOUR LUNGS OUT. XD
THe holidays dont seem to be enough. And soon its coming to an end. I'll be going to buy my tickets back to Perlis later. Hmm.. I wish the holidays were longer. THere's just too many things to do in so little time. And i dont have time to chill with everyone of my friends. Haiz.. What to do.. Im gonna go back to studying... Sink my head into the notes. Back to boring life...
Nevermind. I WILL SURVIVE. XD
Moving ON.
*Jamming with REMAKE MY LULLABY. ^^
Alright... Here's what im looking forward to. ^^ TODAY WERE GOING JAMMING! WOOT! ^^ I havent gone jamming in SOO LONG. So i dont know how we'll do today. haha. I hope things turn out fine. Were going for 4whole hours! XD
Jeanny just came back from singapore. WELCOME BACK PATRICK! XD
And oh yeah yesterday i went to jeffs house and chilled with zack, naz, jeff, amirul, helmi and the rest. ^^ Adrianna is STILL SO ADORABLE. (She's jeffs 2 year old sister)aka MY BABY! XD ^^
Okay thats all im gonna write now. Somehow when im back at home, i dont feel like blogging that much or too detailed because i feel like there's so many things to do. Unlike when im in perlis. ^^ well its okay. I'll blog more when i can.
.imadeanewfriend.
HELLO KITTY ROCKS! XD
Anyways, alot of you (readers of my blog) must be wondering whats happening now right? Well, lets see... I'll make a list of points on what to say...
*I went to Johor for a leadership camp. I was with the organizers.
*We broke up.
*I made new friends at the camp.
*Im back in Kl and soon back to perlis.
*Jamming with REMAKE MY LULLABY. ^^
*I went to Johor for a leadership camp. I was with the organizers.
Okay, according to my last post, i told you that im at this camp in Johor with 100 teenagegirls participants right? Well, that was what its supposed to be. But unfortunately only 79 turned up. BUt nevermind.
I havent been to these kind of camps since 2006 i think. My society, PACIFIC YOUTH OUTREACH was made to help make youth better than what they are currently. It was started out by my Aunty Noor Hayatti bt Ismail and her good cause to make a change for the youth. Im part of the team. Anyways, i'll just go ahead with how the camp went.
Since ive never been into the forest for a very long time, i didnt really know what to expect. But here's what you can expect about the forest.
THE TOILET SUCKS!
Yeah. I mean come on. ITS A FOREST. XD
Apart from that, i think ive become a hell load more NAGGY. Thank you Catalina for the feedback.
During the camp, i was FORCED TO DO SO. I dont really like nagging to others as much as i dont like getting nagged at myself. So dont worry people. I'll try not to nag at you. Hee.
In the forest, i got leech bites. I dont really know how much but i do know its more than one. Haha. Im too lazy to check my legs and see how many of those bloodsuckers got a taste of my blood. XD
Moving on, i love the lakes over there. Especially the one that had a platform for me to dive in.
WOOOT! Hehe.
It was about 1 storey high jump into the lake and i went CRAZEE! haha. Well... I did get scolded for being unprofesional cuz as the FACI i was supposed to overlook the participants. BUT IT DIDNT MATTER. Cuz if i didnt jump on that day, the next day where we were supposed to get a jump into the lake, it didnt happen cuz there wasnt enough time to do so.
But the thing about the camp was... i got a hell load of cuts on my foot. ++"
Well, thats what you get for going out to a total survival camp. ^^
And from the whole camp, i met so many different people, and there was one that i kept in touch with even till today. (I speak like its been SOOO LONG. Haha) well, her name is...
Catalina Mae Hubbard.
One heck of an interesting person to talk to. ^^
Now moving on to the next thing that i was going to talk about.
*We broke up.
Yes people. Im single now.
The reason?
Well, sometimes i think things were just not meant to be.
But i think its for the best. At least now i know someone better will take care of her.
Dont worry farhah. I wont make things hard for you anymore. (:
*I made new friends at the camp.
How can you not make friends at a camp. Especially when they're all girls?
Oh I KNOW! Wait... I dont. Haha. what am i saying?
^^
Ive talked about this. haha.
Next.
*Im back in Kl and soon back to perlis.
I came back to KL from Johor last tuesday. Then i chilled with my bro and sis at sogo.
KARAOKE! Haha. Actually more like SCREAM YOUR LUNGS OUT. XD
THe holidays dont seem to be enough. And soon its coming to an end. I'll be going to buy my tickets back to Perlis later. Hmm.. I wish the holidays were longer. THere's just too many things to do in so little time. And i dont have time to chill with everyone of my friends. Haiz.. What to do.. Im gonna go back to studying... Sink my head into the notes. Back to boring life...
Nevermind. I WILL SURVIVE. XD
Moving ON.
*Jamming with REMAKE MY LULLABY. ^^
Alright... Here's what im looking forward to. ^^ TODAY WERE GOING JAMMING! WOOT! ^^ I havent gone jamming in SOO LONG. So i dont know how we'll do today. haha. I hope things turn out fine. Were going for 4whole hours! XD
Jeanny just came back from singapore. WELCOME BACK PATRICK! XD
And oh yeah yesterday i went to jeffs house and chilled with zack, naz, jeff, amirul, helmi and the rest. ^^ Adrianna is STILL SO ADORABLE. (She's jeffs 2 year old sister)aka MY BABY! XD ^^
Okay thats all im gonna write now. Somehow when im back at home, i dont feel like blogging that much or too detailed because i feel like there's so many things to do. Unlike when im in perlis. ^^ well its okay. I'll blog more when i can.
.imadeanewfriend.
HELLO KITTY ROCKS! XD
Just two minutes
Why is this called just 2 minutes?
Its because im running out of time to write.
Here's what happened recently. I got 1 minute left.
*I went to a camp in JB that was awesome. ^^
* Erm... Im single.
Thats all i guess. ^^
*and made a new friend. actually alot of friends. Catalina. (:
Its because im running out of time to write.
Here's what happened recently. I got 1 minute left.
*I went to a camp in JB that was awesome. ^^
* Erm... Im single.
Thats all i guess. ^^
*and made a new friend. actually alot of friends. Catalina. (:
Thursday, March 12, 2009
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED.
Have you ever wondered about the things that you want to do in life?
Or the things that you need to do?
Which one do you frequently think about?
Most of the time, we think about the things that we WANT.
NOT THE THINGS THAT WE NEED.
People. Its time to realize.
Now is the time to think of the things that you NEED.
What you WANT comes after you have the things you NEED.
WANT and NEED are two different things.
If someone tells you they need you.
It depends on the situation.
If someone tells you they want you.
It also depends on the situation.
Most of the time, people forget the things they need because usually it relates to issues and problems in getting it.
And when someone thinks of the things they want, even though MOST OF THE TIME its way harder to get, but somehow... The least important things in life seems to be at priority.
Have you put thought in this?
Are you having trouble deciding?
Here's what you can do to overcome these issues.
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.
AND WHAT YOU NEED.
Then you ask yourself.
(:
Or the things that you need to do?
Which one do you frequently think about?
Most of the time, we think about the things that we WANT.
NOT THE THINGS THAT WE NEED.
People. Its time to realize.
Now is the time to think of the things that you NEED.
What you WANT comes after you have the things you NEED.
WANT and NEED are two different things.
If someone tells you they need you.
It depends on the situation.
If someone tells you they want you.
It also depends on the situation.
Most of the time, people forget the things they need because usually it relates to issues and problems in getting it.
And when someone thinks of the things they want, even though MOST OF THE TIME its way harder to get, but somehow... The least important things in life seems to be at priority.
Have you put thought in this?
Are you having trouble deciding?
Here's what you can do to overcome these issues.
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.
AND WHAT YOU NEED.
Then you ask yourself.
(:
Im far away.
For those who's looking for me...
Im far away... Im not up north for the time being.
IM DOWN SOUTH BABY! XD
Yeah, thats right... Im currently in johor being part of the organizing team for this camp my society...
PACIFIC YOUTH OUTREACH SOCIETY
Organized. Its a camp that promotes leadership and teamwork among the participants. Among the activities...
A GAY ASS HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL DANCE.
YES! IMAGINE ME DANCING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL PEOPLE!
Dont worry, i'll post the video after im done. I bet its very embarrassing.
But i guess. I'll give you all a chance to have a laugh at it. (:
Anyways, ive gotta go.
Oh yeah. This camp... There's gonna be 100 TEENAGE GIRL PARTICIPANTS. HEE.
Im far away... Im not up north for the time being.
IM DOWN SOUTH BABY! XD
Yeah, thats right... Im currently in johor being part of the organizing team for this camp my society...
PACIFIC YOUTH OUTREACH SOCIETY
Organized. Its a camp that promotes leadership and teamwork among the participants. Among the activities...
A GAY ASS HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL DANCE.
YES! IMAGINE ME DANCING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL PEOPLE!
Dont worry, i'll post the video after im done. I bet its very embarrassing.
But i guess. I'll give you all a chance to have a laugh at it. (:
Anyways, ive gotta go.
Oh yeah. This camp... There's gonna be 100 TEENAGE GIRL PARTICIPANTS. HEE.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
SOMEONE TAK PUAS HATI WITH MY BLOG
Alright, im gonna blog longer than my previous one.
What am i gonna blog about today?
Well, go ahead and knock yourself out reading it.
Today i lost half of day in lala land. It means that i was sleeping.
Its been 2 days since i slept till the afternoon. Wondering what happened yesterday?
Well, lets see.
GOT CAUGHT IN THE RAIN
Thats what happened before i went for basketball.
Haha.
Okay.. Now i havent really talked about what the new basketball court is like. This is what came to mind...
"SO, THIS IS WHERE ALL THE CHINESE IN PERLIS ARE!"
Yes. Thats what i sort of figured out. Look for a basketball court, i'll find chinese there. The people there...Well, they dont talk that much. I mean DUH. You dont just come up to someone and start a conversation without even knowing who the heck they are. Well, at least some people do that. LIKE ME. SOMETIMES. But im not sure how well they can understand me. SO, the words that id usually say are..
THANK YOU.
When they pass my ball back to me when im playing.
I dont know why, but they refuse to use my ball to shoot. Its like they're afraid of me. I DUNNO.
Each time i make a shot, they get the ball, they give it back to me and wait for their own ball. i was like... WTH?
Oh yeah. And my other favourite word.
SORRY.
When i bump into them, or when i accidentally hit them while going for the ball.
Okay, moving on.
What happened today? Like i said in my earlier sentences... I lost half of the day in LALA LAND.
Then when i woke up... I went to take a shower and decided to start packing cuz...
IM COMING HOME SG BULOH!!! XD
YES. YOU HEAR THAT!!? IM COMING BACK! XD
Then i took a shower, and went for lunch. At first i was gonna go for basketball in the evening, but i realized that i havent washed my clothes yet.. DAMN. KACAU. XD
Okay... so i didnt go for basketball today. BUT. IM GOING TOMORROW MORNING! XD
Im getting better now. I can see the improvement. But im not that agressive in my movement anymore. Decided to take things slower and learn where ive been going wrong all these while.
IT WORKS. IM GETTING BETTER NOW. XD
Alright, and so today, for the first time...
I TEXTED PARTICK! XD erm. I mean JEANNY. XD
Cuz she was in Alor Setar. She cut her hair today.
Then we had SATAY!!! WOOT! But im still feeling hungry...
HUHU.
And why am i typing so long?
YOUR FAULT PATRICK! YOU MADE ME DO THIS! XD
But nevermind, i havent posted a long post in awhile.
PLUS. Im guessing you're bored today. SO ITS OKAY. ^^
Oh yeah! Today, after so long...
I HAD A COMMENT-EACH-OTHER session with AINAA!
OMG I MISS YOU! LAMA GILER DIDNT SEE YOU WEI! XD
Well, let me see what i can say about her.
Oh yeah...
If you mess with her, well... Just dont mess with her... Haha.
She's a really nice person to talk to... If you know what to talk about... If not...
Better dont talk nonsense. I mean you can talk nonsense. Sometimes she talks nonsense and laughs alot. NEVERMIND!
CONCLUSION.
AINAA BAIK. (:
o.O I think... XD
Apart from that.. COUNTER STRIKE!
I havent counter striked for awhile.
And tonight, these chinese dudes (im not racist) were making SO MUCH NOISE. here are their vocabs..
MA CIBAI!! PUKIMAK HAI!! BABI!! CIBAI KIA!! NIA SENG!! SOHAI!! MAHAI!!
And i was like.. DIAM SIKIT LA! XD
But i didnt say it out loud la.. DOnt wanna cause a racist fight here in perlis. XD
Anyways... FOR ANYONE READING THIS. I BET THIS EXCEEDED 500 WORDS.
ENJOY.
TODAY
Let me tell you all something.
I dont like LIARS.
Occasional liars are okay.
SOMETIMES.
Inspired by Ainaa. (:
I dont like LIARS.
Occasional liars are okay.
SOMETIMES.
Inspired by Ainaa. (:
Friday, March 6, 2009
Today.
I played basketball again.
And its been almost 2 days since i talked to her.
At least till i texted her at 7 when i got back from basketball.
It keeps raining in perlis. Thank god the court has a roof on it.
Then she called me when it was almost midnight.
SMART GIRL. She used her friends' handphone to call me.
I was actually still not happy with her not texting.
Apart from that, for those who question why i wear hello kitty on my neck.
ASK JEANNY. XD
she loves partick so much. ^^
Well, thats all im gonna write now.
goodluck for your sketch competition tomorrow.
(:
I played basketball again.
And its been almost 2 days since i talked to her.
At least till i texted her at 7 when i got back from basketball.
It keeps raining in perlis. Thank god the court has a roof on it.
Then she called me when it was almost midnight.
SMART GIRL. She used her friends' handphone to call me.
I was actually still not happy with her not texting.
Apart from that, for those who question why i wear hello kitty on my neck.
ASK JEANNY. XD
she loves partick so much. ^^
Well, thats all im gonna write now.
goodluck for your sketch competition tomorrow.
(:
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I FOUND A BASKETBALL COURT!
OMG!
I FOUND IT!
AN INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT IN PERLIS!
WOOOOOT!!
WOOOOOT!!
Here's what i found after searching since the day i step into Perlis.
ITS THE ONLY THING I NEED!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
How did we come together?
The stars in the sky,
The sea and its breeze,
The winds that gave us the chills,
The hours that seem to go by so quickly,
And the conversation that never met its end.
That caused the glow in my heart,
And made the sun shine bright the next morning.
(:
Im glad i came that night.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
CAMWHORE MOMENTS. XD
Well, i was bored last nite.
Here are a few camwhore moments. ^^
Thats what happens when you have a camera, a mirror and a bored teenager. XD
Monday, March 2, 2009
They moved out...
Yesterday two of my housemates moved out to live with their other friends...
ZACK AND MACK.
Yes. They sleep in the same room. Haha.
And here's how i wished them goodbye.
(:
Sunday, March 1, 2009
IM SO TOUCHED! ^^
First of all, let me say...
OMG!!!
THANK YOU!!!
ADIKKU YE SHANN!!! ^^
Can i feel proud of myself?
NYAHAHAHA! Hee... I feel so...
Eh, can i feel proud of myself or not?
PLEASE? JUST FOR NOW? PLEASE?
Hmph. Nvmind. I DONT CARE!
IM PROUD YOU BLOGGED ABOUT ME, YE SHANN.
I HEART MY ADIK. ^^
Right? ^^
Why am i feeling so proud of myself? Check this out.
http://screamoutloud-ys.blogspot.com/2009/03/maybe-you-can-break-me-little-more-like.html
Wouldnt you feel proud if someone made something like this for you?
I know i am feeling REALLY PROUD. ^^
I love being the sunshine after a rainy day.
But i hate being the sunshine when its so hot outside.
So... When do you want me as the sunshine? ^^
OMG!!!
THANK YOU!!!
ADIKKU YE SHANN!!! ^^
Can i feel proud of myself?
NYAHAHAHA! Hee... I feel so...
Eh, can i feel proud of myself or not?
PLEASE? JUST FOR NOW? PLEASE?
Hmph. Nvmind. I DONT CARE!
IM PROUD YOU BLOGGED ABOUT ME, YE SHANN.
I HEART MY ADIK. ^^
Right? ^^
Why am i feeling so proud of myself? Check this out.
http://screamoutloud-ys.blogspot.com/2009/03/maybe-you-can-break-me-little-more-like.html
Wouldnt you feel proud if someone made something like this for you?
I know i am feeling REALLY PROUD. ^^
I love being the sunshine after a rainy day.
But i hate being the sunshine when its so hot outside.
So... When do you want me as the sunshine? ^^
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